The talking stage is that murky, pre-relationship phase where you and your potential partner engage in a delightful mix of flirting, banter, and deep-ish conversations—while secretly wondering, “What are we?” But how do you know if things are moving forward? We’ve got you covered.
To understand the rules of the talking stage, we talked to California-based psychiatrist and cognitive behavior therapist Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), who specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues. In this article, we’ll discuss signs the talking stage is going well so that you know whether to keep texting or find another date.
15 Signs The Talking Stage Is Going Well—Green Flags You Shouldn’t Miss
Dr. Batra describes the talking stage as “a mix of flirting, fun, and maybe a bit of nervousness as you both navigate this early stage of connection. You find yourselves swapping stories, sharing inside jokes, and figuring out if there’s more to your conversations than just the occasional text exchange.” But how do you know if things are actually going well? Are the sparks flying, or are you stuck in the friend zone? If you’re wondering if your conversations are pointing toward something real, look for these 15 signs the talking stage is going well.
1. You talk every day, and not just about the weather
They know what you had for breakfast, and somehow, you’re invested in their dog’s vet appointment. Conversations are no longer surface-level. You’re exchanging details of your daily lives, and it feels completely natural. These are signs the talking stage is going well, as you’ve both moved past small talk into more meaningful exchanges.
2. Their replies are lightning-fast
No “seen” purgatory here. Sometimes, they even double-text. You’re that interesting. If you’ve noticed they respond within minutes, even to the generic talking stage questions to ask a guy or a girl, Dr. Batra sees this as a great sign. “It means they’re genuinely interested and invested in the conversation. When you’re talking every day and their texts come in almost immediately, it’s one of the major green flags in talking stage.”
Related Reading: How To Deal With Rejection From A Crush: 11 Steps To Move On
3. You’ve started inside jokes
Remember the time they accidentally called themselves a “cat loaf” instead of a cat lover? Now every loaf of bread is a private joke. Dr. Batra shares “Inside jokes are an excellent way to deepen the connection. They show that you’ve both spent enough time together to form your unique bond.”
4. They remember details
Like that embarrassing school story you mentioned in passing or your irrational fear of earthworms. When the girl or guy talking to you remembers the little things, it’s a strong sign they care. If they’re recalling minor details, it’s one of the green flags in talking stage, indicating they are paying attention to you.
5. They send goodnight texts
Dr. Batra shares, “In the early stages of dating, a simple “goodnight” text can mean a lot. It’s a thoughtful gesture that shows they’re thinking of you before going to bed and want to end the day on a positive note.” Bonus: they don’t forget the 💤emoji to match the mood.
6. They tease you playfully
If they call you out for your odd love of ketchup, it’s flirting, not judgment. Playful teasing is an excellent way to establish rapport and keep things lighthearted. It’s also an opportunity for you both to be a little vulnerable with each other, which is key in the early stages of dating.
7. Memes are flying back and forth
You’re practically a comedy duo, roasting each other with GIFs. Sharing memes or funny videos is one of the most enjoyable ways to strengthen your bond. It shows that you can have fun together without taking things too seriously. Dr. Batra says, “It’s always a good sign when you both have the same sense of humor.”
Related Reading: How To Text A Girl For The First Time: 15 Tips And 75 Examples
8. You can talk about anything
Your conversations are not limited to generic talking stage questions to ask a guy or girl. From conspiracy theories to your love for 90s boy bands, it’s all fair game. The talking stage is about exploring common interests, and if you can talk freely about everything and anything, it’s a sign of emotional comfort. The more topics you can cover, the better your connection.
9. Future plans are brewing
“We should go see that movie!” is no longer hypothetical—it’s excitement in disguise. This shows that the girl or guy talking to you sees potential for something more. When future plans start to come up, even in casual conversations, it’s a sign that you’re both interested in seeing where things go.
10. You share your days
They know about your annoying coworker, and you know about their daily quest for the perfect latte. Dr. Batra says, “Sharing the mundane details of your lives helps build intimacy. When you’re comfortable enough to talk about everyday struggles or wins, you’re growing closer.”
11. You’re using nicknames
Whether it’s “weirdo” or “coffee addict,” the names are affectionate and hilarious. It shows that you’ve started to feel comfortable enough to be a little goofy with each other.
“Nicknames are a cute and playful way to make each other feel special. – Dr. Shefali Batra, Psychologist”
12. You’re comfortable disagreeing
Pineapple on pizza? No. But somehow, you’re laughing instead of arguing. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, and how you handle them is a sign of emotional maturity. If you can laugh off small differences, you’re on the right path. It’s also a good early learning lesson for conflict resolution.
13. They check in randomly
A quick “how’s your day?” at 3 PM feels like a virtual hug. This is one of the most comforting signs the talking stage is going well. It shows that they’re thinking about you even when you’re not talking, which is a great indicator of interest.
14. The compliments are genuine
Dr. Batra shares, “Genuine compliments that go beyond appearance show that you’re connecting on a deeper level. It’s not about flattery; it’s about recognizing each other’s personality.” These compliments can look like:
- “I love your taste in movies!”
- “You look so pretty in purple, it’s definitely your colour.”
- That spaghetti looks delicious, I’d love to taste your cooking someday😉
15. You feel like you’ve known them forever
The connection is so natural it’s borderline spooky. It feels effortless, like you’re picking up right where you left off each time you talk. As per Dr. Batra, this is one of the best signs that the talking stage is going well and that there could be a deeper connection forming.
FAQs
1. What is the talking stage?
The talking stage is the period in a budding relationship where you get to know each other, without officially labeling the relationship. It’s characterized by casual flirting, deep conversations, and figuring out compatibility before making a commitment.
2. How long should the talking stage last?
While there are no set rules for the talking stage, ideally, it shouldn’t last too long, but it should be long enough to gauge whether you’re truly compatible. If it’s been more than three months without a “Define the Relationship” (DTR) conversation, it’s time to assess where things are going.
This Reddit user shares their preference, “I have a 90 day rule, I may talk to a guy exclusively for 90 days because that’s how I do things but in the 90th day of no commitment of any kind, I reopen my black book, get new numbers, sift through old ones, repost my profile whatever but what I’m not doing is talking with no progress.”
3. Should you talk every day in the talking stage?
While daily communication is a sign of interest, it’s important not to make it feel like an obligation. If you’re excited to talk to them each day without feeling overwhelmed, then you’re likely in a good space. Be mindful not to let the pressure of constant texting overshadow the fun and spontaneity of getting to know each other.
Key Pointers
- Regular, engaging conversations without pressure are essential in the talking stage. It’s important to talk every day, but it should feel natural, not like an obligation
- Signs like inside jokes, remembering small details, and genuine compliments show that emotional comfort is building
- Healthy teasing and playful exchanges are key to creating a fun, lighthearted atmosphere
- When you start discussing future plans—whether it’s a date or a trip—it’s a clear sign you’re both interested in seeing where the relationship could go beyond just casual chatting
- The ability to disagree, laugh it off, and respect each other’s opinions is vital for long-term compatibility. The talking stage isn’t just about fun—it’s also about assessing how well you handle differences
Final Thoughts
The talking stage is all about getting to know each other in a fun, low-pressure way. If you’re noticing these signs, then chances are the talking stage is going well, and you’re both genuinely interested in seeing where things can go. Keep in mind, the rules of the talking stage vary for everyone, but clear communication, honesty, and respect are always key. Enjoy the ride and see where it leads!
How to Tell Someone You Just Want to Be Friends: 15 Examples
How To Make Him Obsessed With You: 21 Smart Tips
How To Get Over Infatuation: 17 Psychological Tricks
Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.
Share Feedback
Ask Our Expert
You must be Logged in to ask a question.