400+ men and women share why they cheated — THE LIAISON

Conquest

I was on drugs

I became inattentive to my partner and didn’t know how to express that

I have blacked out and made out with someone, no idea why?

Revenge

Men cheat because their natural instinct is to spread the seeds.

Felt unwanted/lack of attention in my relationship or they did it first

So moral of the story, not being that into you!

It was in high school, it was my first boyfriend, wasn’t in love. Cheated with the guy I was with for 3 years after

Troubles in the relationship/wasn’t getting enough attention so I sought it outside

I was young in high school and didn’t have serious feelings for the person I was with.

Stuck in a relationship that was impossible to get out of. Boyfriend was a loser and I kept living my life…

Found out my girlfriend cheated on me, begged me not to leave… so then I cheated on her

My girlfriend at the time stopped having sex with me.

Most do it for the thrill, because they can, or because they’re unhappy.

It was a long-distance relationship. He was extremely controlling. I wanted to regain control, I guess.

I didn’t love myself

Lack of attention

Didn’t feel desired by my significant other

Spent 9+ years in a sexless marriage.

Lust

Partner’s lack of interest

The relationship was effectively over, but I was too weak to officially end it

My partner had no interest in sex

For the challenge

Opportunity

Sex

Needed more and my wife was not interested.

Was tired of the current relationship and over 3,000 miles away (deployed)

This new person made me feel more desirable than my partner did.

Spouse and I had a sex life that was in the toilet

Lack of intimacy at home

I lacked the courage to be honest with myself.

It happened when I was away as an Erasmus student last week

Mainly for the sex. Adding a little excitement.

Shared interests, showed interest in me and my feelings. Which was lacking in the current relationship

Mutual opportunity for having sex on the side with no romantic options. It was only sex.

Have been with my girlfriend and never cheated in 20 years, if people do it, it’s because something is missing.

Human nature

My ex said sex was too painful, and we could never really get after it, so I wandered

I wanted to feel something, anything, besides the pain in my relationship

Insecurity. Inferiority complex.

For sex.

Not proud of it, but because my ex was okay with intimacy only one time a month or less, and I wanted more.

Because she was cheating on me

Lack of affection from their partner. People have needs, and seek comfort elsewhere.

Sex

Yes, only because I found out that she cheated on me.

Was too horny and didn’t get it at home, and people cheat because it’s so much temptation, and it’s easy.

Didn’t feel wanted by my partner

Seeking attention lacking in their current relationship.

I was not a priority

Spouse withholding sex and intimacy…

I cheated to get out of a relationship… at the time I thought I was doing good.

Not enough guts to man up and end the relationship

Selfish, ego, young and basically a douchebag

I really don’t know

I have in the past because it was something new, and she was interested. Vs what I had at home

Over controlling ex-wife who cheated first

Betrayal that led to weakness on my part. Crossing a line I never crossed before

I felt unloved and underappreciated, and someone else showed me both

I was not getting attention and got it from someone else

Emotional immaturity

Got the chance to be with the one I really want, been married for 28 years now, never regretted it

It was a way out of my marriage

No sex in a marriage for two years

Mutual attraction

Yes, when I knew or believed that the other party was unfaithful first.

Not meeting physical and/or emotional needs

Yes, neglect

For fun

Because the man or woman stopped trying, and it’s not exciting anymore.

My wife quit giving me attention. She gave the dog more attention and affection.

Girlfriend was moody every day

She pushed me away. Her focus changed. She shouldn’t have been in a relationship

I was bored with my current relationship

Used to. It felt oddly empowering having multiple girls wanting me

Wasn’t getting sex and was being neglected.

Loneliness

For the closeness… the hugs, the caressing, the sex, for feeling loved. I guess it wasn’t enough at home.

I should have broken up first, but didn’t realize it at the time. Crazy in hindsight.

Bad relationship with no intimacy. Physically nor mentally.

Once cheated, broken up first, but didn’t realize it at the time. Crazy in hindsight.

Bad relationship with no intimacy. Physically nor mentally.

Once cheated to assure myself I wanted to break away from my relationship

Lust

Lack of attention

Thrills

Fear of missing out

Carpe Diem

I wasn’t satisfied, you hear it all the time. I wasn’t getting attention, affection, excitement blah blah blah

Not sure to be honest. It just happened

Wrong wife selected

Emotional abandonment by an asexual wife. Later discovered I had a sex and love addiction. Now, recovery.

Hot sex

Not re cheating but your post about how 80% of men imagine sex with a female friend. Do females do this?

Past regrets

No love left and can’t quit marriage due to a special child

Lust and frustration

Was young in high school & I cheated because my crush was interested in me. Dumb & won’t ever again

In a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable

Yeah, variety

Thought I was being neglected

We didn’t have sex for months. She was always working and working at home.

Because my wife stopped making love to me like her mother did with her husband.

Lack of sex and low desire from my partner. Basically not feeling wanted

Fell in love

Intimacy

I wanted the person badly

Because she was so hot and I needed it for the little me inside that hot girls find me attractive

The thrill of getting caught, doing the wrong thing. Selfish indeed, but such a rush!

Temptation

It’s human instinct that can’t be controlled.

Got bored and wasn’t scared to get caught

Not satisfied sexually

Not often enough

Low self-esteem and self-worth

Being taken for granted

Emotionally immature, and I was not communicating with my partner

I was not happy with my sex life with her

Lonely, lack of a physical relationship, menopause

Escape from real life

Yes. Lack of at-home sex

Yes, my wife with my childhood love

I didn’t feel connected at all with my wife and felt stronger bonds emotionally with other women

Emotionally cheated several times. Not physically. Because my needs weren’t being met.

Flirting attention I was not getting from my wife

Yes, I was offered my first threesome, and I couldn’t resist. Guilt has set in, though.

Revenge. Not proud of it

Need something to fill the feeling I’m missing in the relationship. Also, feel it’s harder to fix than cheat

Lack of attention from your partner plus the thrill of having a new person

Basically, love isn’t the driving factor in that relationship

Lust

If emotional cheating is this question also. Lack of sex/emotional connection again

Lack of sex with wife… like not in over a year

If emotional cheating is this question also. Lack of sex/emotional connection again

Lack of sex with wife… like not in over a year

The thrill of something different, and I didn’t feel loved and appreciated at home.

Thoughts only, usually because of sex

Wife forgot about regular sex life. I needed someone for sex, to be close, to get intimate

Yes. Mostly I was selfish. I’m ashamed of it, to be honest. It pretty much came down to the idea that I was not getting enough attention from my wife.

Because I met my soul mate one person too late

Wasn’t happy with the current situation

Because she cheated first, and I figured our relationship was over.

For a number of reasons, including years of a growing chasm in my marriage, and meeting someone I felt young with

Lack of intimacy and sex

The need for validation

In a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable

Cheated on my wife in the first year of marriage because I got attention from another woman

100% no self-control

5 years together with my GF. Last year, sex maybe two or three times, did it, didn’t get caught

Attention

Lack of sex

Anger and hurt

Desire

No love left, and she was physically and emotionally unavailable

Desire

Lust and revenge

Emotional immaturity

Because I thought my boyfriend cheated first, and I was angry

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

Temptation, lack of attention from the partner

I was very young in a relationship that I was not into. The attention I got was so thrilling that I got tempted.

Love

Lust

Opportunity

I was weak, stupid, and selfish

Sexual desire, lack of sex life with a significant other

Lust

Loneliness

I felt neglected by my wife

No longer receiving attention from my partner

Low self-esteem, to make myself feel better

I cheated because I felt lonely, and I wasn’t getting any affection from my wife. The physical and mental contact had gone.

I was immature and emotional

Not sure, still wondering to this day

I was a horny 20-something

My girlfriend stopped having sex with me. She told me her feelings had changed, but she didn’t want to break up.

I wanted out of the relationship but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it on my own.

Low self-worth

For sex and excitement. Not at all proud of it.

Sex

I cheated because I was in an unhappy relationship that I did not want to be in anymore, but I was too much of a coward to end it, so I cheated on him to give myself an excuse to leave.

Mostly selfishness

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

Lack of attention and validation from my partner.

Temptation

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

To get back at my cheating ex

Temptation, revenge, to get out of the relationship

Boredom

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

We were young and in a toxic relationship.

I was young, the relationship wasn’t serious, and I was emotionally immature

Opportunity

My wife rejected my every sexual advance

Selfishness

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

Sex

Lust

Opportunity and desire

Not sure, I guess I was looking for validation

I cheated because I felt lonely, and I wasn’t getting any affection from my wife. The physical and mental contact had gone.

Lack of sex, connection, and communication.

Lack of sex and intimacy

Temptation and opportunity

I was young and stupid

My partner wasn’t giving me the attention I needed, so I sought it elsewhere

To escape from my reality

Lust and temptation

I was weak, stupid, and selfish

Boredom

Lust

Opportunity

My wife rejected my every sexual advance

No longer receiving attention from my partner

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

Emotional immaturity

Temptation

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

I was young and stupid

Low self-worth

To feel wanted and desired

Opportunity and desire

Lust and temptation

Selfishness

I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to get out.

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

I wanted out of the relationship but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it on my own.

Boredom and opportunity

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

To feel wanted and desired

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

Lack of sex and intimacy

To escape from my reality

My partner wasn’t giving me the attention I needed, so I sought it elsewhere.

I was a horny 20-something

I was young and emotionally immature

Opportunity

Lust

To escape from my reality

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was young, the relationship wasn’t serious, and I was emotionally immature.

Opportunity

My wife rejected my every sexual advance

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Low self-worth

Lust

Temptation and opportunity

My partner wasn’t giving me the attention I needed, so I sought it elsewhere.

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Emotional immaturity

Selfishness

Lust

To feel wanted and desired

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to get out.

To escape from my reality

Boredom

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

To feel wanted and desired

Opportunity

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

Lust and temptation

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I wanted out of the relationship but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it on my own.

Temptation

Lack of sex and intimacy

Opportunity and desire

I was young and stupid

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Boredom and opportunity

I was a horny 20-something

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Selfishness

Low self-worth

To escape from my reality

Lust

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

To feel wanted and desired

My partner wasn’t giving me the attention I needed, so I sought it elsewhere.

Emotional immaturity

Opportunity and desire

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Lust and temptation

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was young and emotionally immature

Boredom

Opportunity

Lack of sex and intimacy

Low self-worth

To feel wanted and desired

Selfishness

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

To escape from my reality

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

I wanted out of the relationship but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it on my own.

Lust

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

To feel wanted and desired

Opportunity and desire

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Boredom

I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to get out.

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

Selfishness

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

Lust

Temptation

Emotional immaturity

I was young and stupid

Low self-worth

To escape from my reality

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

I was young, the relationship wasn’t serious, and I was emotionally immature.

Opportunity

Lack of sex and intimacy

Lust and temptation

To feel wanted and desired

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Boredom and opportunity

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Selfishness

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

Lust

I was young and emotionally immature

To escape from my reality

Opportunity and desire

Low self-worth

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

I was a horny 20-something

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Boredom

I wanted out of the relationship but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it on my own.

Lust and temptation

Emotional immaturity

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

Selfishness

Opportunity

To feel wanted and desired

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to get out.

Low self-worth

Lack of attention and validation from my partner

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lust

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Opportunity and desire

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

I was young, the relationship wasn’t serious, and I was emotionally immature.

Boredom

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

Temptation and opportunity

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

Emotional immaturity

I was young and stupid

To escape from my reality

Low self-worth

Lust and temptation

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Lack of sex and intimacy

I was a horny 20-something

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Opportunity

Selfishness

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

To feel wanted and desired

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

Boredom

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

Opportunity and desire

Lust

Emotional immaturity

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

To escape from my reality

Low self-worth

I was young and emotionally immature

Temptation and opportunity

Lack of sex and intimacy

I cheated to get back at my partner for cheating on me

Lack of attention and connection from my partner

Selfishness

Opportunity

Lack of sex, connection, and communication

Lust and temptation

Emotional unavailability in a relationship

I was lonely and wasn’t getting any attention at home.

Lack of intimacy and connection with my partner

I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t know how to get out.

Lack of affection and communication from my partner

Boredom

Lack of sex and intimacy

Low self-worth

To feel wanted and desired

Emotional immaturity

Opportunity and desire

Lack of attention, validation, and affection

I was in an unhappy relationship and looking for an excuse to end it.