This post shares five family conversations about technology and devices that help kids build healthy screen habits.
Helping kids develop safe and healthy screen habits is a cornerstone of parenting today. Conversations about digital footprints, stranger danger, screen addiction, and more are common in families as parents try to keep their kids safe.
While researching The Phone Book, I uncovered some less common conversations that are important, too. Here are five family conversations about technology and devices that go beyond the standard talking points. These conversations recognize that kids and teens are steeped in technology and help them build skills and awareness to protect their well-being.
Before Conversations About Screens and Tech Begin
Before starting family conversations, take a deep breath and consider how to connect without sounding like a lecture. Watch your tone, stay curious, and ask questions to learn about their online experiences.
Like many corporations, technology companies aim to expand their reach and profits. Advertising and data collection are critical to achieving these goals. Social media, video games, YouTube, and other apps need eyes on their platforms, including kids’ eyes, to maximize profits.
Conversations about the tech business model help kids and teens become more informed tech consumers.
Conversation starters to explore online advertising with your family:
- What have you noticed about the ads appearing in your feeds and apps?
- What type of ads (i.e., clothing, food, products, etc.) do you often see online? Why do you think that is?
- Have some of these ads made you want to buy the product? What makes these ads so effective?
Social media networks, browsers, and sites like YouTube use algorithms to feed us content. One downside of algorithms is that they can keep us in a rabbit hole of harmful content, such as disordered eating, body dissatisfaction, and hate-based messages.
To safeguard against this, remind kids and teens that they can curate their feed in a way that positively impacts their well-being and self-esteem. For example, they can follow inspiring people making positive changes in the world rather than people who make them feel bad about themselves.
Conversation starters to explore algorithms and content curation with your family:
- Does your feed and YouTube show you content you like to see? What have you noticed about this?
- What social media platform do you think has the best algorithm? Why do you think that is?
- Has your feed ever gone in a direction that negatively impacted your mood? Did you do anything in response to this?
Conversation #3: Moderate Time on Social Media to Protect Mental Health
Social media has the potential to both benefit and harm adolescents. Moderating time on screens, getting enough sleep, exercising, and face-to-face social interactions benefit our mental health.
Conversation starters to explore social media moderation with your family:
- What do you like most and least about social media?
- Have you noticed that your time on social media has replaced the time you used to spend on other activities you enjoy? If yes, what activities do you miss?
- How much time do you spend on social media actively connecting with friends or exploring your interests versus scrolling?
Conversation #4: Comparison is Inevitable, and Also the Thief of Happiness
It’s easy for teens to compare themselves with what they see on social media— how they look, who’s getting “likes,” and who’s not. For tweens and teens, social comparison can be amplified. Time together with friends and family – in real life, nourishes kids and reminds them they are okay as they are.
Conversation starters to explore comparison with your family:
- It can be hard not to compare ourselves to what we see online. Have you noticed that certain posts trigger comparisons in you? What type of posts?
- What do you do when you notice you are feeling FOMO or comparing yourself to what you see online?
- Do some platforms or apps tend to prompt more comparison and FOMO? Which ones and why do you think that is?
Conversation #5: Remember to Pause. Our First Reaction Often is Not Our Best.
Remind kids and teens that it is okay to put their phones down, take a break, think, and breathe before responding. Pausing reduces the risk of posting something they later regret.
Conversation starters to explore digital pressures with your family:
- Digital social drama can be tricky to navigate. What do you see happening with friends and peers? What do you think helps these situations? What makes them worse?
- Many teens feel they always need to be available to their friends via texts or DMs. Do you ever feel that way? How do you manage that?
- If you could change the way teens interact online, what would you change? If you could change how social media and other communication apps work, what would you change?
Kids and teens may roll their eyes when you bring up screens and tech, but keep the conversations going anyway. Caregivers play an important role in helping youth stay informed and safe online. Click on the button below to download a printable version of these five family conversations. Feel free to share with other families and caregivers, too!