Cravings are sneaky, and fixations can develop without you even noticing it is happening. Suddenly, your brain keeps circling back on the thing, and it can’t seem to stop. Round and round it goes. Some things our brains crave are easily enough accomplished–another cup of coffee, that fourth cookie. Some things, like public humiliation, are not so easily come by.
Even if a shamefaced round of public humiliation isn’t as easily achieved as that cup of coffee, we can still crave it, fixate on it, and loop on it. Sometimes the fact something is so hard to get makes us want it all the more. Today’s column comes courtesy of a reader craving public humiliation…and confused as to why it is so hard to get. Will they ever get a chance to fulfill their fantasy? The Dirty Talk Advice column has the answers!
“I have a long-standing fantasy where I am watched as I jerk by a woman while I’m naked at home and my face is visible. The woman watching is either in public or if she’s at her house there are other people in the house too. My fetish focuses on the risk that others will see me—that either her laptop is seen in public or her roommates might see me. Even better if she calls her friends over to watch so they can all laugh at me.
This is my biggest fantasy EVER. I’m really struggling with how to make it a reality. Nobody has ever been willing. How do I ask women if they might be interested in doing something like this? I really crave humiliation and risk but it doesn’t seem like anyone is interested in exploring this with me!”—Laugh At Me Please
Complexity Creates Complexity
Fetishes can become fixations, and the more complex the fetish is, the harder it is to successfully achieve it. The desire for public humiliation is actually a fairly common one, you far from alone in your desire, Laugh At Me. What makes your fetish harder to pull off than one for boot polishing or puppy ears is that it requires multiple participants for it to work The more people you try and add to anything? The more exponentially complex it becomes. Have you ever tried to schedule a lunch date with four people? It’s impossible!
Finding a partner interested in watching you stroke on camera? It requires a voyeur who is attracted enough to you and the situation to go through with it. It’s tricky, but certainly not impossible. If that was the entirety of your fetish, you would have a better chance of seeing it become reality. But your fantasy is much more complex than that.
Legal Risks
The reason you are currently encountering a 100% failure rate for your public humiliation fetish? Because it requires the woman watching to risk arrest, possibly be put on a sexual offender registry, have her roommates ask her to move out or lose her friends. While you might not have thought of the possible implications of your fantasy, that is what they are.
Unless every single person in the public place this possible woman is watching you stroke is into it as well, unless her roommates all have a mutual fetish for laughing at masturbating men or she has extremely open-minded friends that like watching stroking cams with her, you are asking her to risk an awful lot into order to watch you. This is why you haven’t had any luck with your public humiliation fetish so far.
Is there a woman out there who might be perfectly comfortable watching your stoke session on her laptop in the hopes others might see? Sure. Of course. But a person so willing to risk arrest for a wank session is probably someone you should avoid interacting with, generally speaking. They are surfing on the spicy side of life, and often those that spicy have some serious bite and can leave you with indigestion.
Your Options
There are a number of ways you can make this fetish happen if you are willing to slightly modify it, however! You can always look for a partner who is willing to talk through a cam session as if their hot friends are in the other room and might pop their heads in the room at any minute. You can hire pros to make it happen under controlled circumstances. You can write erotica about how you would fantasize it might happen. You can attend humiliation classes and join humiliation chat groups to see if anyone else might be interested in exploring with you.
But whatever you do, don’t get on an offender registry. This particular fantasy has a higher chance of going sideways than most, and it should be approached with caution. Best of luck and may you get the blushing cheeks you crave!
Keep it Kinky My Friends,
RDG
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