The internet is a potent and powerful tool that can be used for both good and evil. It connects us to people all over the world. It allows us to learn, to meet people, to share our thoughts, and to see endless cat photos. It can also allow strangers to form parasocial relationships and fixate on people in unhealthy ways. Sometimes in extremely unhealthy ways. So how does a new model launch a career and still be safe?
Today’s column comes courtesy of a reader who is considering a modeling career and wants to know some safety tips for new models. Of the many topics that the Dirty Talk Advice Column has covered over the years, this is one that is particularly close to my heart. I am about to tell you everything I wished that someone had told me when I first started modeling.
“After giving it a lot of thought, I’ve decided to try my hand at modeling, but I also want to be safe. What is some advice you would give to newbie models? Are there any privacy concerns I should be aware of before I get started? I want to be safe and figured you would be the person to ask.”—Newbie Model Safety Concerns
Safety For New Models Is A Valid Concern
The fact that you have thought to reach out to me and do your homework before plunging into modeling is extremely encouraging to me Newbie Model. I now wish I had done some research and planning before getting started. I had no idea of all the various ways in which putting yourself out there to the world as a model could go sideways.
As a new model, you will want to start from the ground up. There is a reason most models use stage names—sometimes fans will stalk and track you down. Get fresh email accounts with passwords not connected to your legal name or regular email accounts. Get a google voice number for just for modeling and keep your personal phone number private. Do an online search of your legal name and see what comes up. Your address? Your phone number? DMV records? You might be surprised how much information about you is out there.
I had no idea when I first started modeling that my home address would get leaked. I had no idea that people who have never met me would become certain that we were best friends or that we were going to get married. The phenomenon of parasocial interaction means that if you are putting yourself out there as a model, the odds of fans becoming fixated on you increases the more successful you become. Most of the time, you have nothing to worry about. Very rarely? You could have some serious concerns.
The More Secure The Better
How secure is your current residence? Do you have an alarm system? Locks on all the doors? Do all the windows lock? Where do you park your car every night and is there a video camera security system set up on your front door/other entrances? I have a secure alarm system, all my windows lock and there multiple video cameras around my property. There have been multiple incidences over the years that have happened to increase my security to the point it currently is.
Past a secure residence, you will want to be very cautious about what you post online. Obviously, in order to be a successful model, you have to keep promoting yourself on a regular basis. You are your brand after all. Selfies, behind-the-scenes shots, various aspects of your life, etc. I never post any photos or videos until AFTER I have left a location. Cute selfies of your outfit at a club or restaurant? Distinctive landmarks? Wait until you are back home to post. NEVER publicly post your current location.
Cell phones will “helpfully” include metadata in photos taken. Unless you go into phone settings and turn it off, you are giving away a wealth of data and details about yourself. I once took a photo of my car after it had been broken into and posted it online to warn others. I was very careful to make sure the photo did not include the license plate of my vehicle. What I did not realize is that the license plate was reflected in the glass and you could see it upside down and backwards. (I no longer have that vehicle and that particular license plate is no longer associated with me, for those who are keeping track)
Pay attention to things visible in the background of your photos. I have had fans look at the logos on shopping bags to try to figure out where I shop in the hopes of running into me at the grocery store. Doing an unboxing video or photo of someone received off of your wish list from a fan? Make sure that your address/legal name/tracking code is not visible. You would be surprised what close attention fans will pay to photos in attempts to learn more about you.
Fans buying you presents off your wishlist is one of the perks of modeling—so how do you get packages delivered without risking your safety? Get a PO Box set up and make sure it is in a different town. All of my correspondence goes through my PO box, which is over an hour’s drive from me and I am not the person who checks it.
Your Home Should Be Your Castle
Why do I take guarding my address so seriously? Because one of my friend’s kids answered a knock at the front door…only to find a fan standing there. The fan was certain that his mother would love to meet him. It was a terrifying experience for both the child and my friend and they moved shortly afterwards. So how did her address get leaked?
Legally, every time you do a shoot, you need to fill out paperwork that establishes your driver’s license, phone number, DOB, and legal name. The point of the paperwork is to make sure that no minors are engaging in adult modeling. This is of course very good in principle but it also means your home address and legal name are only as safe as the record-keeping of the various photographers and production companies you might work with. If someone doesn’t keep their paperwork secure? Your address might end up leaking. As an added layer of safety, I am a registered LLC, which means I can receive modeling payments under my stage name, not my legal name. Setting up an LLC is fairly easy and something I recommend if you are committed to pursuing modeling.
I don’t want to scare you off from modeling Newbie Model! The odds are that you will be able to explore a modeling career without a care in the world. 99.9% of the time you won’t have a thing to worry about. It is the .01% you need to be careful about. As a society, we have gotten more aware of privacy and online safety over the years. By being careful and thoughtful, we can eliminate most risk factors of putting yourself out there for public consumption. We can’t eliminate all risk, however. Be completely sure you are okay with the risks before becoming a model. It isn’t something you can undo once you have made that step. The internet is forever.
Keep it Kinky My Friends,
RDG
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