Are you trying to get over your Ex but secretly still missing them while you are in another relationship?
Getting involved too soon after a breakup can be a big mistake because your heart is not ready to love again and it’s still holding on to memories of your past partner. You may not have had proper closure with your Ex and thoughts of them start popping up all over the place as your new relationship progresses.
When your past continually haunts your present situation you are not emotionally available to your new partner.
They will eventually feel the absence of not having your undivided attention, and this will initiate a repetitive problem, especially during intimate moments. Your new partner will feel your resistance to fully engage romantically with them.
It is very important to understand the attachment that you have to your last relationship. This is why it is crucial to always take the time to deal with what transpires for you and your Ex to break up so you can receive the proper closure. Don’t let pride get in the way of achieving this.
What should you do if you can’t stop thinking about your Ex?
Contact your Ex and ask if you can see them for a coffee. At the very least you could communicate through a phone call or a text if they do not feel comfortable seeing you. Do not sneak around behind your partner’s back, be honest and let them know you’re having trouble giving 100% to this relationship because you have things holding you back that you haven’t dealt with properly.
While it is not an ideal scenario for your partner to have to go through, it is of great consequence to understand what is keeping you stuck and why you are not able to give yourself fully in your new relationship. These things need to be addressed before your heart can be repaired and you’re able to navigate forward on a new path.
It’s not your new partner’s job to fix the issue or take a backseat to any feelings you may still have toward your Ex. They may be OK with this decision or they may choose to walk away thinking you’re not emotionally available to be in a relationship at this time. This is a chance you will have to take but at least you’re being honest with them.
Sometimes just sitting down and openly communicating with your Ex after you’ve had some time apart, can be a great way to great way to gain clarity as to why you’re no longer together as a couple. Sometimes our egos get in the way especially if our ex broke up with us. This can take a big toll on your self-esteem. No one likes to be dumped in a relationship even if it wasn’t a great partnership.
There is always a reason why a relationship ended but we don’t always see it at the time.
Conversing with your Ex can also confirm that you are both fully over the relationship.
Ensuring there is no unfinished business lingering between you as a couple is necessary when entering into another relationship. If you’re having daily thoughts about your Ex and you are deeply missing them, it is a good idea to talk to them to see if their feelings are reciprocated.
Is it them you are missing or is it the lifestyle you once shared that you miss? You lose a lot more than your partner during the demise of a relationship. You lose your home, some of your friendships, and time with your children if you share custody.
It may not feel like the best approach to handling things while you are in a new situation, but your present partner should be in the know of where they stand before any more time goes by. If your heart is being pulled in a different direction, it’s not fair to keep your new partner on hold while you’re figuring things out. They are invested in you at this stage and are under the assumption that you feel the same way.
You may feel like you are truly over your ex, but you’re not able to emotionally connect with your new partner.
This is not something to ignore, because it’s certainly not OK to bring someone else into your life when you have emotional baggage and you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Quite often your emotions take a beating during a breakup and they need to learn how to trust again. You might have to end your present relationship if this continues to keep you feeling numb or stuck in a platonic scenario. Love needs to be nurtured with both people contributing to the partnership.
Take some time to identify what it is you’re looking for moving forward. Jumping in quickly after a breakup does not allow your heart or your mind to process what transpired. Only time and honest self-evaluation will do that. If you and your new partner have something special as a couple, you will find a way to be able to build on your partnership with a new-found clarity.
Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤️
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me @ dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram