Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives.
If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove ourselves to others. Healthier boundaries have to be about being more straightforward about who we are. People know who we are and where they stand when we know.
A great way of grounding and checking in with yourself is to ensure you create and assert a boundary with your needs, expectations, desires, feelings, and opinions in mind, not with the view of changing or ruling someone else.
Am I asserting this boundary because it reflects who I am, is an act of self-care, and also promotes a healthy interaction with others?
Basically, are you doing this for yourself? Or, are boundaries another way of seeking approval or trying to be ‘right’?
