Not all BDSM play is over-the-knee spanking and bedroom bondage…some of it can get quite heavy. Heavy enough to scar or even cause permanent damage. There is no right or wrong way to BDSM, as long as it is consensual for all parties involved and there aren’t regrets down the road. The Kinky Pool is big and can get rather deep in some places, but there is space for everyone! If your flavor is heavy play and scars, there are others out there that want to share those waters with you.
Today’s column comes courtesy of a reader curious about exactly what heavy play entails and the various prices one might pay to swim in the deep end. As someone who has done some heavy play in my day, and the scars to go with it, they figured I would be the person to ask. If you were ever curious about the physical and legal implications of heavy play to the point of scarring, this is the column for you!
“I’ve always wondered when I see women getting whipped so hard they are bleeding and or have scars or they have pins or nails through their chest. Do they see a Doctor for checkups? What if they get sick or need medical attention? What do they say? How do they explain their condition to medical personnel? Are laws being broken even with consent?”—Heavy Play and Scars
The Price Of Play
As I sit down to write this column, I am looking at a number of permanent scars I have picked up over the years and realizing I am eminently qualified to answer your questions. I still remember when my doctor politely told me I needed to stop getting punched in the face. (I listened btw) Grab the Neosporin and band-aids, I have the answers you seek!
Can whipping cause bleeding and scars? Most certainly. I have a number of whip scars that were heavy enough they took out chunks of my tattoo. While I have never bothered to get my tattoo touched up, I also would not have done those scenes in the first place if I wasn’t comfortable with the possible outcome. Consent is key and makes what we do not abuse. Hopefully, every single time you have seen someone getting whipped hard enough to bleed or scar, they were fully consenting to what was happening to them.
Scars Can Happen
While I have never had pins or nails through my breasts, I know that people engage in such play all of the time. I have seen a number of people do such things and not have any scars at all afterward. Bodies vary greatly in how they respond to things and there is no guarantee you’re going to walk away from something scarred or permanently damaged. I’ve certainly been whipped much harder than the scenes that left me with scars and there weren’t any permanent marks. Outcomes are random like that.
Pins through breast tissue are usually going to heal without any scarring, nails have a much higher chance of leaving marks, but as long as someone wants to nail their breasts to a board and it makes them happy, I’m not going to get in their way. The whippings I have received that scarred me never required any medical attention…they just scabbed over and when the scabs fell off there was a scar underneath. The resulting scars have not bothered me to the point that I sought to get my tattoos repaired, I simply consider them part of my personal journey.
I have needed medical attention a few times for play gone wrong, as accidents do happen. In every case, I always fully disclosed everything. I’ve never had any issues from disclosing, and I would never recommend withholding knowledge in a medical situation. Medical personnel are there to help you! Not giving them complete details is only going to make it harder for them to do their job. Trust me, they’ve seen everything five times over and then some. When my doctor told me I needed to stop getting punched in the face for fun, I decided to follow their advice.
Legal Implications
Where things get more complex is with regards to laws being broken. No matter how much everybody consents, we are still hitting and marking each other. And that is where things can get very tricky. Heavy play and scars are a gray area at best and could definitely be considered illegal, depending on where you are. If someone does heavy play and regrets it if they have scars, marks, or bruises? They are carrying evidence on them that could be used against the person that inflicted it.
Nobody wants to be trying to explain to the police how the permanent scars they left on someone were consensual at the time, and that the person receiving them changed how they felt about them after the fact. That’s going to be an awkward and tricky conversation that isn’t likely to go well. I very much consider heavy play and scarring to be extremely Advanced Play and I urge people to approach it with caution. Be extremely sure that everybody is on board and nobody is going to change their mind down the road. Don’t rush into such things. The deep end of the kinky pool is quite deep indeed.
We get into kink because we are seeking new things and want to add some spice to our lives. Sometimes that spice has permanent after-effects. Add the seasoning that you desire but add it with care or you might end up with some serious heartburn…or a messed-up tattoo. I don’t regret my journey, and I have learned a lot along the way, but the waters I swim in aren’t for everyone. And how boring the world would be if we were all the same!
Keep it Kinky My Friends,
RDG
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