I made a big mistake this week… I went grocery shopping without a list!
Typically, we shop for the whole week of groceries on Sunday. But it wasn’t that kind of week. So, on a whim, I decided to run into the store at the last minute to pick up food for dinner.
As soon as I was let loose in the store, all kinds of random thoughts began racing through my mind…
“Dragon fruit Kombucha? I’ve always wanted to try that. Death Wish Coffee? I wonder how strong that really is.” And I was completely at the mercy of the salsa aisle. No matter how much we have at home (and we have a lot), I always find it hard to resist buying more.
Without a list in hand, it’s easy to get distracted by all those attractive, interesting, well-stocked aisles screaming for your attention. It’s only when you get home that you realize how many things you didn’t even want and how you forgot something essential that you really needed.
When it comes to development plans, the options are also nearly endless. And, like shopping without a grocery list, if you don’t take the time to first consider what it is you really want, it’s easy to get lost.
Start Where You Are
Just saying something like, “I’m working on being more strategic,” or “I will improve my executive presence,” isn’t going to take you very far. There is so much one human being can do to improve — you need to narrow your options.
So I always tell my clients the same thing: “Start where you are.”
That means first taking time to build adequate self-awareness. It’s the reason most leadership development programs and coaching engagements start with tools that help you take stock of who and where you are right now. It’s an important part of deciding how to map your development plan so you can get the biggest bang for your development buck.
After all, you are not like everyone else; your development plan is unique to you. So you’ll want to decipher some elements that can authentically help you grow, improve, and make substantive progress as a result.
By identifying the one (or two) things that matter the most, you will have tremendous impact on both your performance and leadership effectiveness. From there, progress takes off – and progress is an incredible motivator.
Take Time to Reflect
Many successful people have a bias towards action. This is certainly helpful in many situations, but if you skip over reflection, you may be moving quickly… in the wrong direction.
Self-aware people reflect. Journaling or simply setting aside dedicated time for this can help you gain important perspective. Some questions to begin the process:
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What is already working well?
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What is not working well?
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What tends to get in the way of my leadership effectiveness?
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What do I hope to achieve?
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What is my top priority?
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What would I like to be different six months or a year from now?
Reflecting on these key elements will help narrow your focus and identify your highest-impact targets.
Know Your Signature Strengths
What are you really, really good at? What do you bring to your role (and life) that comes easily? Which of your strengths makes you most proud? How has your strength benefitted other people?
These are your signature strengths; once identified, you can lean into them. This is especially important when you are stressed and dealing with challenges.
Keep in mind that it’s common to be innately good at something and therefore assume it is no big deal (we call this “strengths blindness”). On the contrary, these things are exactly what you want to leverage.
(Caution: strengths can also be overdone.)
Understand Your Patterns
Sometimes, when I begin coaching a leader, they tell me they are already self-aware. But over time, we all see that there’s a lot of unconscious activity or behavior running on autopilot. Typically, these are patterns of behavior we learned as children to get our needs met.
For example, Jake (an Enneagram type 8) is a leader who likes to get to the point and take charge. He can be intense and commanding. This helps him get important things done but sometimes, his approach is too strong and direct — his team members feel like they are being bulldozed. Once he started to see his pattern clearly, he began to realize he often uses more force than necessary and could do a better job of pausing before saying harsh things.
The Enneagram is fantastically effective at identifying these patterns. It pinpoints nine different “lenses” — ways people tend to think, feel, and behave. By learning our own Enneagram traits, we can eventually SOFTEN our ingrained patterns and open up to other choices.
Get Some Feedback
One of the best ways to learn how other people see you and appreciate the impact you are having on them is to ASK. This can also inform your strengths.
But I understand, asking for feedback can be difficult. We may resist because we fear it might be embarrassing, hurt our feelings, stress us out, or force us to change something we don’t really want to change.
The thing is, research has shown that leaders who ask for feedback are perceived as being more effective and self-aware. Plus, feedback truly makes us better.
It All Starts With Self-Awareness
Few things are as important to leadership as self-awareness.
By investing time reflecting on where you are right now, you can build a development plan that helps you get where you want to go and allows you to be more effective at engaging others.
In the meantime, let me know if you could use a few jars of salsa. I’ve got plenty!